The Parts We Play
by The Ambitious Blank
Summary: Sometimes a play performed by Tantalus may be more truthful than what meets the eye.. Kuja/Zidane, Blank/Zidane, no happy endings here, folks.


The Parts We Play  
By The Ambitious Blank  
  
**Disclaimer**- Final Fantasy 9 and all it's characters do not belong to me, but to Square, a nice company that wouldn't dare sue the likes of me. Er.. right, guys..? Right?!  
  
**Comments**- Blah. Sad, depressive fic ahead, beware. Shounen-ai and all that, o'course. No happy endings here. Very sad. ;_; Sorri. Will make up with happy ending fic later. Enjoy, and C&C always appreciated!  
  
~*~  
  
The rain came unexpectedly, as it was always expected to do. Without a warning it poured from the heavens above, drenching the poor people who were caught outside. People like me.  
  
I'm the one leaning up against the alley wall, watching the people run inside their homes, or shriek with surprise, in the case of the nobles that were visiting. Tantalus, I'd heard, was back in town. It was easy to disguise myself among the crowds of people herding themselves about the city. Lucky for me, because I knew some of Zidane's friends were running around.. the Dragon Knight, for one.. who I knew despised me so. And the little one, the Black Mage that I knew I would not be able to face again. I knew that the little one had used up enough tears to last the world's lifetimes, I felt not the need to cause him any more.   
  
I felt tears prick my own eyes. I knew Zidane cared for me.. but not like he loved him.  
  
His partner from Tantalus.. Blank.   
  
Yes, it was the blind, redheaded boy he loved so.. not me, as I'd hoped. I stare up at the sky, which is still glaring threateningly at me, the droplets like pins, stabbing viciously at my face.   
  
Perhaps I should explain how I came to be here. After all, I'm supposed to be a ghost, a simple memory at this point, am I correct? Zidane came back for me at the Iifa Tree, for reasons even I don't understand anymore. He and I were almost out.. almost free of that wretched tree that, several times, almost cost us both our lives. Some roots had caught us in the tunnels beneath the tree.. we had just caught sight of the exit, and then more of those vines burst through the roof of the tunnel and had blown us both in opposite directions. Zidane went flying out of the exit, and I.. I flew into a side tunnel hidden behind a thin wall of rocks.   
  
A few Flare Stars saved me from a most unpleasant death, and I managed to escape.. by the time I'd gotten out, however, Zidane was long gone, something I'd vaguely expected, though nonetheless.. it still hurt when I actually saw it with my own eyes.  
  
I step away from the wall. Those memories are going to haunt me for a long time, I know. Turning, I glance to a flashy poster hanging on the wall, a little tattered. "The Parts We Play", it read in big red lettering, "A Play by Tantalus!" I smile a bit, heading in the direction of the ticket booth.  
  
It's been a while since I've seen a good play.  
  
~*~**  
  
**I arrive earlier than most and manage to grab a good seat.. as far from the stage as possible. The rain has ceased, and everything has a wet smell to it. The theater ship lands, and the few that made it here earlier than I gasped as they watched it land. I sigh a bit, keeping my hood on and my eyes lowered, shadowing my face. I can't be seen. Not here.  
  
I watch silently as the Tantalus boys run around on the stage, setting up this, lighting that. Zidane appears a few times, not paying much attention to the crowd. My heart wrenches deep in my chest as I see my brother run back and forth, helping to set everything up, his smile still as radiant as it ever was. I shift uneasily, trying to keep my eyes off him.  
  
I was a fool to come here.  
  
~*~**  
**  
The play starts off with a bang, like always. I watch from my seat in the back as fireworks go off and music blares in my ears. Baku steps out and bows to the crowd.  
  
"Queen Garnet, Lady Beatrix, Sir Steiner.." He begins. I'd forgotten all about Garnet. I glance up, and she's sitting on her throne, watching silently. Beatrix and Steiner look pleased to see the show. Garnet doesn't look as excited, though I suppose that's either because she's trying to keep her poise.. or she's upset because she found out that Zidane was with Blank. Either way, it didn't matter. I turn back to the stage.  
  
"..noble ladies and lords, and our rooftop viewers!" Baku continues, "I am dismayed to announce that our star performer in this play, Ruby, has fallen ill. Send good wishes to her, for Zidane will take her place." There were a few "aw"s of pity and then applause. Baku went on. "Tonight's tale begins when our main characters, Blank and Renee meet in secret, hiding from Renee's fiance, Marcus. Blank is an actor has been seeing Renee, who is a barmaid, in private for many months now, and 'tis in a dimly lit street that our play begins. And so, Tantalus now proudly presents the second play written by Lord Avon, 'The Parts We Play!'"  
  
The following applause is almost deafening to my sensitive ears, though I clap as well to be polite. Blank and Zidane take the stage, Zidane dressed in a long skirt, his tail hidden cleverly underneath it. The lights around us dim and brighten on the pair. Zidane whimpers softly and falls into Blank's arms.  
  
"..oh Blank," he sobs in a very well faked girl's voice, "I do not know how long we can keep meeting in the cover of night.. Marcus has become suspicious of me, and.." Blank cuts him off, placing a gentle finger to my brother's lips. Zidane looks up slowly, tearstreaks marking his face.  
  
"..shh, be silent, my beauty." Blank says, nodding. "I am sure if we wish to get Marcus out of the picture, we can." Zidane shakes his head furiously.  
  
"Nay, Blank!" He cries, "I wish no harm done to Marcus.. I love him as well."  
  
"Then you must choose," says Blank sternly, releasing Zidane and turning away. "It is either Marcus or I. You cannot have both." He leaves the stage, leaving the spotlight on Zidane, who falls to his knees and sobs.   
  
"..what am I to do..?" He whispers brokenly. The light dims and fades away, and the curtains close. I can feel the nobles sitting around me watch with sympathetic gazes. Sad music plays for a few moments, then the curtain opens again. Bright lights are shimmering on the scene, signifying day. A painted background of a bar is now shown, windows lit up with bright blue sky rather than the dark of night. Three tables are set out. Two of the Nero brothers (I cannot tell the difference between them) sit at one table, talking with one another. The third brother sits alone, and Blank is sitting at the last table. I watch with interest. Marcus steps onto the stage, followed by Zidane, carrying a tray, and who exchanges glances with Blank for just a brief moment.  
  
"Ah, Renee," Marcus says, smiling, "What a day our wedding shall be!" He says excitedly. Zidane, shoulders slumping slightly, nods.  
  
"Yes, of course, Marcus!" He agrees as best he can, setting mugs down at the three tables. He walks to the bar and sets down the tray, sitting on a stool himself.  
  
"Marcus..?" He asks, sounding hesitant. Marcus turns.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"..I.. I am not sure.. if I am ready for marriage.." He says, very softly. Marcus looks startled.  
  
"But.. but.. the plans..!" He cries. Zidane shakes his head.  
  
"I am not ready."  
  
"The day is set, my dear Renee.. we have no more time!" Marcus says. I can see Blank's hand tighten on the handle of his beer mug. I can feel tension rising in the audience, for they have seen it too.  
  
"But Marcus..!" Zidane protests. Marcus growls.  
  
"Why are you suddenly so hesitant, Renee?! We cannot change the date of our wedding!" He says a little irritatedly. Suddenly, Blank slams his mug down and stands up, turning to Marcus.  
  
"Why not give this poor girl some time, rather than forcing her! She did not have to say yes to your proposal, you scum!" He cries. Marcus lets loose a feral snarl, his hand is going for his sword.  
  
"Say that again, you disgusting piece of street trash!" He shouts, drawing his blade. The audience gasps and stiffens. Blank draws his own sword.  
  
"You are not hard of hearing, I do not want to waste my breath on you and repeat what you have heard thousands of times before!" Marcus leaps at him. Their blades clash. The three Nero brothers stand and shout for help.   
  
"I will kill you for that remark! You are the one that has been seeing Renee in secret, are you not, you rat! Prepare to die!" Marcus roars. Suddenly, Zidane jumps from his stool and runs over, but it's too late. Blank has swung and caught Marcus in the side, and he collaspes, groaning. Zidane screams, looking to Blank. The lights dim again, and the spotlight is on the two secret lovers.  
  
".....how could you?" Is all Zidane asks before the light grows dark on the scene again.  
  
The next scene is at an inn. Baku, dressed as a doctor, is just leaving. Zidane is sitting in a chair next to a bed, and Marcus, his chest bandaged up heavily, is lying on the mattress, asleep. Zidane sighs.  
  
"..fighting over me like I am a possession.. do I not mean anything to either of you..? Am I just a prize..?" He stands and walks to center stage. "..am I just a bone caught between two hungry dogs..? Am I nothing more?!" Tears begin to slide down his cheeks, and I find myself wishing desperately to run up to him and brush them away. Zidane turns back to look at Marcus.  
  
"..tell me, Marcus.. when will this foolishness end..? When will I mean more to you..? When will I be perfect for you..?"  
  
The lights dim on the stage and Zidane stands alone in a pool of light.  
  
"My heart aches," he whispered, "For I have tried my best.. and I cannot decide.. to both I will be but a caged bird.. forced to sing to get my food, and be used to make others envious of Marcus or Blank.. because I am nothing but a prize." Suddenly, Marcus emerges from the shadows and wraps his arms tenderly around Zidane, who jumps at first, stiffening in his embrace. Marcus whispers in his ear.  
  
"My love, you will never be a caged bird. I care not if you never sing, I only hope that you will stay, for the door will always be open to you. You are more than a prize to me.. you are the one I love."  
  
There is silence for a few moments that seem to take hours, and finally Zidane relaxes in Marcus's arms.   
  
"Do you speak true, Marcus?" Zidane asks. Marcus nods. Zidane turns around in his embrace and they kiss, deeply, as the curtain falls once again.   
  
Rain begins to fall, right on time for the last scene. Blank is onstage, waiting. Zidane comes up to him.  
  
"..Blank.. I have made my choice."  
  
"And..?" Blank asks, looking at him closely. Zidane lowers his eyes. Blank sighs.  
  
"Ah. So you have chosen Marcus. He will treat you as a possession, as you so hate.." Zidane cuts him off.  
  
"Nay, Blank! He will not, as he's told me so.. and I believe him, for I can read the truth in his words." Blank sighs again, shaking his head.  
  
"He will treat you as a prize. But I.. I will not--" His voice is beginning to falter, before Zidane interrupts again.  
  
"I know, my dear Blank." Zidane says softly. "I know. But I have made promises to Marcus that I have not yet made to you.. promises that I must keep. And I know he will not treat me as a possession. Do you understand..?" He whispers, wrapping his arms around Blank's waist. Blank nods, swallowing hard.  
  
"I.. I do. And I am happy for you.." He says, though his words are choked, forcing a smile. I can feel my heart wrench violently in my chest, for I know the pain that Blank is merely acting. Zidane shakes his head.  
  
"Nay, Blank. Do not pretend for me. Do not pretend to be happy for me.. I know you cannot. So do not, and let yourself cry." He coaxes. Blank hugs Zidane to him tightly, tears slipping slowly from his eyes. I realize how badly I want to hold him as Blank does now on stage.. how I want to cry, but cannot.  
  
"..I do not wish to lose you." Blank chokes out. Zidane sighs and leans up, kissing him, long and deep. The rain pours down, soaking them and their costumes, when they finally pull away. They can't hide it from me.. I saw the true love in that kiss.   
  
"..I'm sorry." Zidane whispers, before pulling out of Blank's arms and disappearing slowly offstage. Blank stares longingly after for a long few moments, before drooping slightly.  
  
"Oh, love is the sweetest joy and the wildest woe." He whispers, using the well-known line from "I Want to Be Your Canary", a line I've heard is in all of Lord Avon's plays. The stage darkens, and the curtain closes for a final time. As the main lights return, I can see several women have started to cry, and suddenly I feel something warm and wet on my own cheek. Reaching up, I realize it's a tear, and that I am crying as well. Startled, I brush it away quickly. The members of Tantalus step out onto the stage and bow, and I stand from my chair. I can't bear to see his face any more. I stand up and disappear, though I know his eyes were directly upon me.  
  
~*~  
  
I ran blindly through the streets, disappearing down an alley and pinning myself up against a wall. I'm panting heavily, and tears are still fresh on my eyes. I hadn't even known sadness was possible for me. I guess it is.   
  
Zidane has followed me, as I had known he would. He stares up at me for a long moment, and there is silence between us for what seems like ten lifetimes, before he speaks, finally, softly.  
  
"..why didn't you come back to me..?" He asks, his voice so tender and heartbreaking I feel more tears spring to my eyes. I shake my head.  
  
"I couldn't have shown my face.."  
  
"But you could have come to me!" He cries, and throws himself into my arms. I turn away, unable to face him. I couldn't have come to him. Not when he had Blank.. no, I couldn't turn him into Renee.. I couldn't make him choose. I push him carefully away, and he looks hurt. I feel my voice falter.  
  
"Zidane.. I.. I can't.. I just.. can't. You and Blank.. and.. I.." I can't find the right words, and I turn away, ashamed at my weakness. He watches me, silent for another few minutes, before he finally wraps his arms around me from behind. I turn to look at him.  
  
"..I understand," I say brokenly, trying to force away my sadness and my tears, "..I.. I should be.. happy for you.." I choke out, and he shakes his head.  
  
"Don't pretend for me, Kuja." He whispers, repeating his lines from the show. I play my own part.  
  
"..I can't lose you." I say softly, brushing his wet bangs from his eyes as he stares up at me. Slowly we kiss, and I let my pent-up passion flow into it, my arms slipping around his waist and pulling him to me tightly. He returns the kiss, his own arms around my neck. We stay in our own little world for an eternity or so, and finally he breaks the tender and passionate kiss that I know is our first and last, and he chances meeting my eyes for only a brief moment before turning away, pulling out of my embrace.  
  
"..I'm sorry." He whispers, and turns, fleeing the scene, our parts over, our play done, and I am left, standing alone once again in the pouring rain.  
  
~*~**Owari  
  
**Doesn't that make you wanna cry? Poor Kuja. ;_;  
  
R&R, and I will be most grateful.  
  
-The Ambitious Blank 


End file.
